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Image  —  Posted: May 7, 2017 in Blog, blogging, Life, love, musings, thoughts, Uncategorized, writing
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You think they leave you

When you let them out

In little sighs

After each frequented thought,

But they don’t.

Instead they cling to you-

Like little beasts

And invade your sleep

And leave you tortured,

Until you feel relentless,

And weak and discarded

And tired and hopeless

And oh so remorseful,

Until “if only”- become

The words most frequented

By your thoughts,

Until your past becomes

Your present and

The nows

Are just not there,

Until you lose control,

Over your own brain

And you live a sick life,

In the messy world

Of your own deeds.


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In disbelief of

What she heard,

Oh! She pondered

Of her very existence;

Questioned her goodness

And her karma.

……

 The engulfed silence

Broken through

By the outcry

Quivers the soul and

Grills the heart

And sends a chill

Down her spine.

……

Years long by-gone

Remind her of-

Those twinkling eyes,

And that endearing face

Flushed with a pink-tint that

Unvoiced mouthed the beauty

Of the three words

Said in tandem.

……

And she had heard,

Each single word,

Loud and clear,

Reiterated every time

They met.

……

All said,

They were meant to be-

One forever and always,

But now they stood apart,

Even after all the time

They had to talk and to feel.

……

Millions of words

Run through her mind

As accidentally her phone

Drops on the floor

By the desk

Cluttered with books and papers

All patents and worthwhile

Summing up to millions.

……

Her welling eyes somehow

Glance on that book,

In whose pages hides

A letter asking:

 ‘Will you?’

……

The tears soak her white shirt

All prim-and-proper

And her twitching lips

Shout a yes,

In tune with the ‘I do’

Said in that distant church.

On my walk

Posted: October 16, 2014 in Life, walk
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I do not know your name nor do I know your story and yet you manage to hold a very special place in my heart. All I know is you were there beside me on one of my walks back home. I was in a bit of a hurry to reach home as it was cold and windy. I managed to squeeze my face into my jacket as much as I could but the cold was still biting. And there I saw you right in front of the beautiful park. With a smile you looked at me as I came closer and showed me the camera. You wanted me to click a picture of yours right by those beautifully arranged park benches. As soon as I did so, I returned you the camera and started my way home again. That moment made me miss my friends especially the part where we took pictures every now and then. I now have a countless memories of all of them.  As I tried stirring that thought away from my mind, I saw you catching up with me. I smiled your way and slowed down a bit. But we had not walked much and I saw you stopping again. This time to pick some of the fall leaves right off the branches of the trees lined up on the sides of the footpath. Not knowing whether to wait for you or not, I started walking slowly on my way. You hurried to catch up with me… again.

And then the conversation started. I came to know that you were returning back to our country-you were going back home the very next day. (Oh how I wished to fly back to my parents that very second.)That was the reason I came to realize why you were so desperate to collect the little pieces of treasures. Through the talk I also came to know that you had been afraid to walk alone the other day-especially because of the minimal light of the street lamp falling on the path. It humbled me more than anything. How strangely we meet with people sometimes ( in a good way) and how hard it is to talk with them at the same time. Maybe we are afraid. Maybe we are not even bothered.

We parted with a goodbye wishing each other good luck. Even today on my walks I think of you and pray that wherever you are- you are happy and safe.

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Anticipation

Posted: September 23, 2014 in Life
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I am new to this country. Its been more than three weeks that I have been here and I am already longing to go back home. I miss my friends and family out there. That was one thing that I most feared and wanted to avoid when I parted with them. But life’s too hard in some senses.  Now there’s no looking back as we are already miles apart. No matter what we do we all would never be able to turn back and again live the life that we lived back then. That’s pretty hard for me to gulp at this moment when I am supposed to settle out in a new city, work with people who I hardly know and still do my best. I know they will be there for me forever but what bothers me is I will not have them in all the little moments of my life and at the same time I will not know theirs. I wish that were possible. Living each day without my friends and family has made me somber. And I wonder how different we would all be in the years to come. We would meet again after some months or a few years that’s for sure. And somehow I tend to hold onto that thought for a long time.  It has a promise and makes me smile. And more than anything it helps me cherish the moments that I have spent with them.  It helps me through this moment of somberness and lets me hold on to them as if they were by my side.


By the window,
onlooking the mist,
a cup of steaming tea
would draw me down the lane
and remind me of you.

By the countryside,
onlooking the farms,
a walk through the boulevard
would draw me down the lane
and find you by my side.

By the desk,
onlooking the letters,
a name mumbled out loud
would draw me down the lane
and bloom this face again.

By the waterway,
onlooking the bridge,
a piece of paper afloat
would draw me down the lane
and let my fears drown.

By the shrine,
onlooking the cross,
an enlightened candle
would remind me of love
and overwhelm this repudiative heart.

 

Image  —  Posted: May 24, 2014 in Life, Uncategorized
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